Path: moe.ksu.ksu.edu!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!rpi!ispd-newsserver!psinntp!nstn.ns.ca!ac.dal.ca!vt102 From: vt102@ac.dal.ca Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative Subject: A meetds D THE SEQUEL Message-ID: <1992Feb24.214212.3783@ac.dal.ca> Date: 24 Feb 92 21:42:11 -0400 Organization: Dalhousie University, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada Lines: 299 A Meets D II, The Wrath of Spock By: Steve Tonner "Captain's log, stardate 3675.9. The enterprise has been ordered to the polaria cluster to investigate a strange rippling effect in time. If studies of this time disruption are successful, Starfleet intends to use it for research into historical matters and my revenge against Kirk for his little joke." Pikard stabbed the log button with his thumb, noticing a tuft of fur under the button. " Those tribbles Kirk beamed over are still bugging me, even though they were all gotten rid of. If this plan works, Kirk will be VERY sorry." thought Pikard to himself. The Enterprise D Would arrive at her destination in three hours. "Captian's log, stardate 1234.5. The Enterprise has been ordered to the polaria cluster to investigate a rippling distortion in time itself. Mr Spock seems to think it could be a gateway that had to have been artificialy created. As a personal aside, I am growing concerned about Spock. His attempts to use more personal speech forms have grown worse and worse since our encounter with the Enterprise D, and if this keeps up I will have to do something about it." Kirk stopped the recording on his log module and looked thoughtful. when they got to the cluster, things on the ship would relax, since they'd be hanging around the cluster for weeks researching it. Practical jokes are definetley going to increase, eventually getting out of hand. Kirk hoped he wouldn't have to stop things without resorting to disintegration. Just then, Spock screamed. all eyes turned to him. He was hopping around at his station, eyes wide. "Spock! what is it? Are you all right?" kirk asked. the last time this happened, it turned out to be a premonition of the Enterprise's salad bar malfunctioning. "It is all right, captian. while I was scanning the cluster, my underwear seems to have been jerked upward, causing..." "Spock, Spock" kirk interrupted." Are you telling me you just got a wedgie? That's impossible. McCoy was nowhere near you. he isn't even on the bridge!" Kirk said "Not so, Jim!" Said McCoy. Kirk watched amazed, as McCoy popped out of nothingness on the bridge. "Scotty was experimenting with the transporters, so I got him to beam my hand up here, to give Spock his little wedge-o-rama, then beam me up just after. neat, huh?" McCoy was all smiles, breathing all over the bridge. the stink of alcohol was prominent. "Doctor, have you been driking?" asked Kirk. "ah, nooo, this is a new mouthwash. It's called 'eau d'ho' Really classy, huh?" "Doctor, as you know, assault on a superior officer is an offense." Spock said. "You must consider yourself under arrest..." "No way! I'm not under arrest! besides the captian's my best freind! isn't that right, Jimmy?" McCoy knew he would win this little one. Kirk agreed that some relaxing of regs was going to be done so this mission could be carried out more efficently. He was moving up to talk to Spock, then shouted 'NOW!' and they both grabbed spock. McCoy hypo'ed him, and he promptly fell to the floor, unconscious. "Well, that wasn't so hard, was it?" asked Kirk. McCoy nodded, and they carried him off the bridge. If the practical joke wars were going to start up on his ship, Kirk didn't want to be outclassed by a bunch of junior cadets. As they left the bridge, Kirk put Chekov in command, ignoring his comment that the art of practical joking was invented by a little old lady from Lenningrad. "we have arrived at the Polaria cluster, Captian." said data. "Excellent, commander. Begin standard scanning pattern 45." Pikard ordered, smiling. Data looked puzzled. "Captian, we do not have such an established scanning pattern." "Data, don't you remember the update sent on scanning patterns from command?" Pikard sounded concerned. "No, sir, I do not. Perhaps my memory has not fully recovered from the damage done to it by That Sutteran, who blanked the crew's memory to take the Enterprise." "Perhaps you are right, Data, tell you what, just start pattern 23." Pikard said this, then whispered to Riker "Got 'im that time, pay up." Riker paid him. Pikard had finnaly gotten Data flustered about something. There's hope yet. "Course laid in and engaged, captian. At least *I* still have my memory of the things I did while I was under the effect of the shipwide memory blankout." said Roe, from the nav station. As she said this, she slyly glanced back at Riker, who winced at her look. She was going to have fun teasing him about last week' episode. "Sir, security reports a disturbance in security. It seems Mr. Data has consumed radioactive food and is acting strangely." Worf said. "Contaminated food? How did it get contaminated?" asked Pikard. just then Wesley groaned. "Sir, " said Wes "I think I had something to do with that. You see, I was doing an experiment for my energy dynamics class. I put a photon torpedo in the galley, to see the effects it would have when the crew was poisoned." "You poisoned the crew, for an experiment?!" Pikard screamed. When Wes nodded, Pikard gave him a good slap to the head. Then he piked Wes out of his seat, and punched him, laying him out on the floor. Pikard started kicking him, and soon Riker joined in. Pretty soon everyone was having fun dancing on Wes's body, and Riker was just tying the noose when he remembered Data. He told worf to follow him to ten-forward, where the security report said Data was. When they got there, Riker said to worf, "Was there any report of just what Data was doing?" "No sir. It said he was not behaving dangerously, just oddly." Worf looked dissapointed, and Riker picked up on it. "Don't worry, worf. I'm sure you'll be able to shoot at smoething before this is over." Worf visibly cheered up at this, and they went throught the doors. "Hooo-kay, boyeee, get this!" Data said as he jumped across the room to the crowd of terrified people and hugged the nearest woman to him. "I'm so sad. but you love me, right?" Data asked her. she nodded, and glanced over at Riker and Worf. Data noticed them, and ran over. "Hi!" he said. "I love you both. sit down and tell me strange things that start with an 's'." "hmmm. On second thought, Worf. Hose him." "YES SIR!" Worf hadn't been this happy since the day his mother beat him silly for his birthday. He drew his phaser and zapped Data, who fell to the floor. On the Enterprise A, things were progressing as normal. They had been examining the time anomaly, and nobody had even noticed that spock was missing. Chekov was off the bridge, in engineering with Scotty. "And then, " said Chekov, "Kirk just takes meester Spock off the bridge, and McCoy with heem. I hawen't seen heem seence." "Don't worry, son. Spock is like a corpse in a river. He may dissappear, and someone may worry, but he'll pop up sooner or later, and everyone will forget him." Scott said. It was time like these that Scott was glad he picked up that wise sayings book in regulus. "But Meeser Scott, aren't you vorried about him? " Chekov asked. "Not at all. It was probably just a practical joke. Now get ready, the camera's about to start." he pointed to a vidcam set up, aimed at them on the couch. when the red light came on, that meant they were live, being broadcast to every planet in the federation. As the free acess subspace channel ad was on, Scott took his guitar and got ready. Chekov did the same with his drumsticks. when the announcement was over, they screamed 'Pavel's world, Pavel's world, Party on Pavel, Party on Monty' Their latest episode had begun. Spock woke up in a turbo lift. Looking around, he started to remember what had led up to this situation. He was wondering about the value of just knocking someone out and stiking them on a lift until he stood up. Kirk and McCoy had stripped him, and put him in a dress. searching his pockets, Spock found only a quarter in one of them. as the turbolift stopped, Spock looked at the doors and saw his reflection. They had put makeup on him. As the doors opened, the ensign who was talking to her freinds stopped, looked at Spock, and passed out. The others cracked up laughing, and Spock walked past them, trying to hide his face. When he got to his quarters, they were locked, and he had to pick the lock with the quarter. Thirty minutes later he emerged, in proper uniform this time, and slipped into a service accessway to plan his revenge. The Enterprise D had just completed their survey of the time Anomaly. Therefore, the Red alert sounded just then. "Bridge, this is Pikard. What's the problem up there?" "Captian, this is Riker. we were just finishing up the scans of the time ripples when one of them struck us. Data has recovered, and seems to think that we were transported through time somehow. " "Very well, number one. I'll be up shortly." Pikard got out of bed, and put on his uniform. "What's wrong, Jean-Luc?" asked Beverly Crusher. "Probably nothing, Bev. Go back to sleep." Jean-Luc made a mental note to serve red max wine more often when they had dinner together. As he arrived on the bridge, he had to tell everyone to get away from Mr. Worf's station, again. he went over to Worf. "Mr. Worf, just what is it that makes your station so interesting? I mean, there isnn't even a... then he noticed he could see down Troi's top, and grinned. He looked at Worf, and smiled. Looked like Worf was adapting to starfleet after all. Pikard sat down in his chair. "Status, number one." "Yes sir. we were enveloped in a piece from the time anomaly and the sensor maps changed. It would seem that we have travelled back in time roughly eighty years." "Eighty years?" Pikard asked. "yupperino, captian." iker replied. "That means we're in the Enterprise A's time. Pikard smiled and gave the order to search for the Enterprise A, then glanced down. "Hasn't anybody removed Wesley's body yet?" Pikard asked to the bridge in general. Worf stepped up to him, apologized, and promptly picked Wes up and tried stuffing him into the disposal chute. He wouldn't fit, so he just tossed him in Pikard's ready-room. Pikard went to the door of the bridge washroom. "I'll be reading, Number one. Inform me as soon as we locate the Enterprise A. " Pikard was thirsty for his revenge. But the Enterprise A found them first. "Keptin, I am reading another starship in the sector. Captian! it is the Enterprise A! they found us!" said Chekov from the science station. "Red alert, raise shields." said Kirk. "bring us around behind them." When the Enterprise A was in position, Kirk asked, "Do they know we're back here yet?" "No, Keptin." said Chekov. "Ok, then. prepare a boarding party. I want full armaments. Uhura, pipe me through the ship." "You're on, sir." Uhura said "Crew, this is the captian. We are sending a boarding party to try to capture the Enterprise D. Let's kick these guys friggin' ass, boiz!" The boarding party gathered in the transporter room, and beamed over. Materializing on the Bridge, Kirk, Chekov, and three security men drew their phasers and pointed them at the crew on the bridge of the Enterprise D. "All right, freeze! Everyone get back or we'll shoot!" said Kirk. The Bridge crew complied, but Kirk noticed something. "Hey, Where's Pikard? " he asked. "He's uh, gone. I don't know where. "Riker said. He knew that if the captian wasn't captured, there may yet be hope. "But commander, don't you remember? The captian went to the bathroom right over there." Worf said. Everyone in the Enterprise D's bridge crew moaned and slapped their foreheads. Worf looked around nervously. "oops." He said. After Kirk had gotten Pikard out of the bathroom, he surveyed them all. "Well, Pikard, looks like i win after all, Don't I?" gloated Kirk. "Ok, set phasers to kill. Let's blast them and take this ship." Kirk ordered the security men. The men drew their phasers and aimed them at the bridge crew of the Enterprise D. The pulled the triggerrs on the phasers- and they fell apart in their hands. Nobody was more surprised than Kikr. "Damnit!" He yelled. "Dribble phasers! This could only be the work of Spock!" Just then, Spock's face appeared on the viewscreen. "Well, Jim, seems I have the upper hand." The screen blanked, and the Enterprise A fired her phasers, but against the Enterprise D's hull, all they did was put black marks across the flame job they had painted on at starbase 54. The screen came back on right after. Spock didn't look so pleased this time. "ahhh, Captian, I must report myself for being bad. Sorry" "Beam me back Spock." Kirk said. "this boarding party has failed. "No way, Kirk. You tried to Kill all of us. You won't get away with this." said pikard. "oh, yeah, sorry about that," said kirk "guess i haven't been feeling that well lately." "Never mind, you may leave." Pikard said, then he whispered to Riker "As soon as he is back on the Enterprise A, disable her warp drive and put her in a tractor beam. Kirk and the rest of his men dissolved in the transporter beam. when they were gone, pikard yelled" fire phasers! disable them!" two beams erupted from the saucer section, and cut the warp nacelles cleanly away from the Enterprise A. "Now let's have some fun!" said Pikard as the tractor beam locked on. He ordered a series of fast manouvers, heavy on the dips and rolls, until every single person on the Enterprise A was bazooka barfing at full pressure. When pikard came up on the screen, which was covered with puke, he laughed. "Well, Kirk. It would seem that your inertial dampener is not so powerful as ours is. Do you surrender?" Kirk looked up from his chair's built-in puke receptor. "Fine Pikard. Have it your way. We surrender." Just then the Enterprise A broke away from the tractor beam, to the amazement of the crews of both ships. The Enterprise A swung off and to the front of the Enterprise D on her impulse engines, and this time fired photons. they struck the navigational array, and destroyed it. kirk was frantically trying to figure out who was doing this, while Pikard was trying frantically to raise his shields. The Enterprise A fired again, and hit her warp engines. She lost her warp drive then, as well. While the bridge of the Enterprise D was in flames, Spock's picture again appeared on the veiwscreen. "Well, Pikard. I knew you would try to take this ship once Kirk returned to it, but I took it back. Yo ustill have your superior weapons and can destroy this ship, but what will that avail you? your navigational arry is gone. you can go nowhere, even if you had your warp drive. There is nothing left for you but to return to your time through the time anomaly we are near, and call for help. You may have outraced us once, but I am the winner here. Pikard was flabbergasted. he was blown away. "ahh, but, um, you see..." was all he could get out. Riker stepped in. "Fine Spock, you win for now. but rest assured, You haven't seen the last of us." Riker cut the connection, and manouvered the Enterprise D back to her own time. "Fine. "he thought to himself. "Score: D=1, A=1. But watch out for the tiebreaker." The End Standard copyright stuff, etc.