LIST FILE ON MARGIN IS 64 STATUS: ALL ALLOWED NUMBER OF LINES: 629 1 If you are in need of help, you need but ask.... 2 ********************** REMOVED: 25 MAR 84 ****************** 3 Welcome to BWMS (BackWater Message System) Mike Day System operator 4 ************************************************************ 5 GENERAL DISCLAIMER: BWMS IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY INFORMATION 6 PLACED ON THIS SYSTEM. 7 BWMS was created as an electronic bill board. BWMS is a privatly owned 8 and operated system which is currently open for use by the general public. 9 No restrictions are placed on the use of the system. As the system is 10 privatly owned, I retain the right to remove any and all messages which 11 I may find offensive. Because of the limited size of the system, it will be 12 periodically purged of messages. (only 629 lines of data can be saved) 13 To leave a message, type 'ENTER' and use ctrl/C or break to get out of the 14 ENTER mode. The message is automatically stored. If after entering the 15 message you find you made a mistake, use the replace command to replace 16 the line. To exit from the system, type 'OFF' then hang up. 17 Type 'HELP' to see other commands that are available on the system. 18 ************************************************************ 19 20 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ 21 Oh, how I love new disks!!!!!!! 22 actually, I really haven't much to say, but I couldn't pass up the 23 oppertunity to use a new disk. 24 Commander: Where are you? 25 Come to think of it, where are d and tarn and brenden and all the others 26 who's writing I used to love (especially d's) 27 Fast Fred 28 BSAL 29 (ret) 30 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ 31 :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: 32 "well sir,you have proved yourself,here is your answer..." 33 "wmsksqrqccimsrrfcmpgegml?rcpmdnpgk?j@cjafrfcpgnw" 34 t"the rest of you may wish the same knowledge,ffor you a potluck question" 35 what was the name of the cat in "macbeth":hint,called by the first witch. 36 ::::::::::::::WIZARD:::::::::::: 37 +++++++++++++++++++++++ 38 ++++++I DID IT!++++++++ 39 +++++++++++++++++++++++ 40 EXIT 41 ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: 42 #Bard: the answer to the first is 43 you must seek out the originater of primal belch theripy. 44 It was a two position alphabetic shift. 45 The second seems to be Graymalkin (interesting!). 46 I know, I know - you would have gotten that too. Well, until 47 I get up enough courage to actively join an 'adventure', I must 48 content myself with occasional commentary. 49 Thanks for the BOLO info. Is that a Retief story? I've not read 50 them all, I have to be in a particularly 'silly' mood for them. 51 My head is starting to hurt from the strain of this long 52 telepathic comunication. Ciao (oops!)# 53 ::::::::::::::::::O O::::::::voyeur::::::::O O:::::::::::::::::::::::: 54 ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? 55 Voyeur:in communicating with the Bard over a strange and wonderful medium 56 known as the "telephone" he stated that he would have wanted to solve said 57 riddle himself.oh well,you` are correct in the name of the cat also.you 58 seem to have an enormus store of knowledge,so for you... 59 how long does process c-41 take and at what temp?? 60 ha!!! 61 A somewhat disgrunted 62 Man in Gray 63 ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? 64 pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp 65 To all: It looks like our wizard is on the ball! (I'm glad that someone 66 can answer the questions -- I'm typing this at 5:00 AM and things get kind 67 of fuzzy around the edges.) 68 Bard: I have commited this Saturday to my young one. It gets difficult 69 70 to break a date with a 4-year old. They do not accept excuses. When is 71 the next meeting? (This time I'll mark it on the calendar and reserve 72 that time!) 73 Deborah: I haven't seen you trying to stir up an arguement for a while! 74 Let's get a topic going -- how about mixing morality into our adventure? 75 We should probably get out of Oz and break new ground somewhere. Perhaps 76 in a Fundamentalist Christian Universe where prayer is compulsory in public 77 schools and teachers who are not devout enough are stoned in the schoolyard 78 by the administration? (When I taught school I made it a matter of 79 principle never to get stoned on school property!) 80 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 81 The piper asked his compainions as they stood in the wizard's room, 82 "Do you have enough information to go on? I am unable to complete the 83 mental exercises and must depent upon your knowlege and guidance in these 84 wizardly matters. I can help, but someone must furnish direction!" 85 pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp 86 Ah, the sight of all these words of wisdom and great humor have fired 87 the great inferno of thought. I'd rather not visit this neat place 88 where you get stoned just for not conforming. When 'I' was in school 89 you got stoned to be a non-conformist, my how times do change! 90 As for all this talk of fees for usage, please, oh great Sysop in the 91 sky, keep it just as it is! A poor and starving person { such as myself} 92 could not possibly say enougxh about the advantages of free time. While 93 I'm new at this, it rhelps to see others in their natural environs and 94 learn. Without the use of FREE systems there is no chance to learn! 95 I thank you all! FINI FIN 96 ******************************************************************************** 97 M. d'Autun: Surely you are familiar with TPC? As anyone who has ever seen 98 James Coburn in "The President's Analyst" could tell you, TPC is a most dread 99 organization! (T.P.C. = The Phone Company) 100 ******************************************************************************** 101 Mr. Peckinpah, I must correct thee. Tandy cannot possibly have anything to do 102 with reality pills! They are a non-patentable item! And in any case, no one on 103 Earth knows how they are made. They were brought here by an alien race. 104 (it is a VERY long story) 105 ..............................the apprentice.................................... 106 Voyeur: please refrain from answering my questions before I get to them! 107 As for the BOLO stories, they are NOT silly. They have nothing to do 108 with Retief (well, they are mentioned in passing a couple of times, but that's 109 it). If the only Laumer you have read are the Retief stories, you have a 110 somewhat skewed idea of his writing. He is quite capable of writing serious 111 stories. 112 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 113 Piper: the meetings are every OTHER Saturday, thus the next meeting is April 7th 114 (if nothing happens!) 115 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 116 "Mckane AGAIN!" shouted bard, (the following is translated from 117 a WIDE variety of languages) "May maledictions follow this nameless one to the 118 uttermost depths of world slime, may he have a long life in interesting times, 119 ......." after a bit he paused, "Sorry, but he is beginning to get on my nerves! 120 Everywhere we turn -- there he is! That, that... OH! HIS PARENTS WERE BROTHERS!" 121 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 122 When I calm down I'll apologize to any one I've offended.... 123 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 124 Rogues In a Nation (Steeleye Span) 125 Farewell to all our Scottish fame 126 Farewell our ancient glory 127 Farewell even to our Scottish name 128 Sae famed in martial story 129 Now sark runs o'er the Solway sands 130 And tween runs to the ocean 131 To mark where England's province stands 132 Such a parcel of rogues in a nation. 133 134 What force or guile could not subdue 135 Through many warlike ages 136 Is wrought now by a coward few 137 For hireling traitor's wages 138 The English steel we could disdain 139 Secure in valour's station 140 But English gold has been our bane 141 Such a parcel of rogues in a nation. 142 143 Oh would ere I had seen the day 144 That treason thus could sell us 145 My auld grey head had lain in clay 146 With Bruce and loyal Wallace 147 But pith and power til my last hour 148 I'll make this declaration 149 We were bought and sold for English gold 150 Such a parcel of rogues in a nation. 151 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~BARD~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 152 153 RYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRRYRYRYRYRYR 154 the following is a partial transcript of a conversation between M. d'Autun and 155 his secretary: 156 M:Any messages while I was out? 157 S:Yes, sir. The Department of Motor Vehicles says that the license # of 158 the company limo hasn't been issued yet. The police wanted the correct license 159 number for the stolen vehicle report. 160 Sir, when I called back, they couldn't find the case number.... 161 M: (muttering, possibly "it figures") 162 S:Anyway, you got a call from immigration, something about a visa problem... 163 M: (wearily)Anything else? 164 S:Yes, sir. I can't get the Telex to work, so I haven't been able to send 165 those messages. 166 167 ............... 168 As you can see, we are preceding according to plan. The only way 169 d'Autun will be able to get a msg thru is by going in person. (of course, he may 170 have some trouble with his reservations...) All bank accounts have been diverted 171 but there are large cash reserves in various locations. 172 MacHinery 173 Portland mgr 174 RYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRY 175 !~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~ 176 After bushwacking through the forest for several hours, we finally 177 reached the city's wall. The wall was your standard Ozish blue -- smooth 178 with no outcroppings or cracks visible, approxiamtely 18' high. A sign 179 hung on it: 180 "TRESPASSERS WILL BE TURNED INTO FROGS" 181 I turned to Wassir; "O.K. wise guy, this was your bright idea. What 182 do we do now?" With an impish grin he pulled a length of rope and grappling 183 hook from beneath his tunic. He proceeded to toss it to the top of the wall 184 where it held fast. We rapidly climbed up and over to the other side. 185 Once inside the city we were confronted by an alley running eastbound. 186 No inhabitants were visible. Stealthily we moved down the alley to what 187 appeared to be a main thoroughfare. Peeking around the corner we spied 188 beings of all shapes and sizes. Munchins and elves and even little people 189 made of china. All had one thing in common--they were wearing blue-tinted 190 glasses. 191 I whispered to Wassir; "We can't go out these. Without those funny 192 looking shades, we'll be recognized in a second." 193 Wassir moved to a storm drain at the edge of the alley and pried up 194 the grating. "I know. The only way to go is down." 195 "We can't go down there. There's probably all kinds of rats, snakes, 196 and spiders lurking for us." 197 "Can it Salazar. Any dufus knows the best way to reach the wizard's 198 lair is through the underground tunnels." I looked down into the darkened 199 hole and felt my anxiety rising. 200 We climbed down into the tunnel and closed the grate behind us. The 201 tunnel was lit by smoking torches held in sconces every 100'. After fifteen 202 minutes we were hopelessly lost. I knew we were in big trouble. 203 After a couple of hours of roaming, we stopped to rest. Wassir played 204 a mournful tune on his recorder; whilst I daydreamed about Serena. Suddenly 205 the tramping of many boot-shod feet and the clanking of weapons broke our 206 reveries. At the far end of the passageway several foul-looking Orcs 207 appeared. 208 Wassir tried the friendly approach: "Hi guys, could you tell us where 209 the nearest bathroom is?" Friendly isn't in the Orc vocabulary. With 210 blood-curdling warcries they charged, weapons drawn. Instantly my magna- 211 ported .44 was in my fist, spitting lead at the subhuman monsters that 212 attacked us. Wassir's trench knife took care of those that got too close. 213 When my gun was empty, I grabbed a fallen sword and joined in hand to hand 214 combat... Blood lust in my heart. 215 More Orcs began to pour into the passageway. I shouted "RUN!!!" Wassir 216 and I sprinted through the twisting tunnels. Our pursuers close at our 217 heels. Just as we started to outdistance them, we were cut off by a deadend 218 We turned to fight our final battle. This was it. 219 As the Orcs edges closer, a voice rang in out brains: #Big ones in 220 deep do-do, we will help# Suddenly, the floor dropped from our feet. We 221 fell a short distance and then started rolling down a steep incline. We 222 ended up in a heap in a strange room. Arcane instruments and musty leather- 223 bound books lined the walls. At the far end of the room several 224 outlandishly dressed people stood staring at us in disbelief. One was 225 different from the rest. He had an aura of mystical and ageless power. I 226 glanced at Wassir. He dreww himself to his feet... a childish glint in his 227 eye. He piped up: 228 "Hello Mr. Wizard..." 229 !~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!Valinor!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~ 230 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 231 My dearest Leroy; 232 I also have noticed an unusual activity on the international and 233 domestic espionage scene. Of course all that has passed between us has just 234 been a slight misunderstanding. My resources will be at your disposal to 235 combat the mysterious interloper. If indeed it is The Phone Company, we 236 may be in deep do-do. As I am currently in an alternate reality, Serena 237 will be contacting you shortly regarding our alliance. 238 Mohammed Wassir 239 240 P.S. If this is a trick, you're going to be in deep . 241 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 242 ----------------------------------------------------------------- 243 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 244 Back to the real world... 245 Has anyone heard of a book called P-1??? (May be wrong spelling) 246 It was a science-fiction book concerning computers written several 247 years back. 248 249 ---------------------->unsigned<-------------------------------- 250 =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- 251 I havent heard of it. I would like all of you to know that working 252 all spring vacation is the pits. I know a lot of you out there have 253 left school, but for those who aren't, how are you all spending 254 your vacation? 255 Bo 256 =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- 257 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 258 I must ask myself "What is reality? And why use pills?" I thought that 259 all people lived there. Much confusion and anguish! Well, since we're 260 going down illuusion lane we may as well enjoy it! Channel 002- Who 261 was Duey Duck? And I might add "Why a duck?" F. Fin - CPAL 262 *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 263 Dearest Leroy; 264 Mohammed asked me to contact you about the mysterious new power on the 265 spy scene. I have little information other than they seem to have control 266 of AP wire services and most data communications networks. Various state, 267 federal and international enforcement agencies seem to be in the dark. 268 You can reach me at Salazar's office in Old Town. Be discrete. Salazar 269 would be very angry if he knew I was working for Wassir again. If you have 270 time drop by. Bring a donkey; I'll supply the trapeze set. 271 Anxiously, 272 Serena 273 *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 274 275 ___________________________________________________________________________ 276 Apprentice: My apologies, but with Tandy's formidable marketing power, the 277 aliens you spoke of chose us as the sole distributer of the reality pills. 278 We were still in FDA testing phase when we became aware of the unauthorized 279 use of the still-not-completely-tested pills. Our concern is due to the fact 280 that advance use by non-testing agents of the pill have hurt our chances 281 of getting it approved for general sale. It has also hust our standing with 282 the FDA, who up until this point we have had a good relationship with. 283 284 Our references with the aliens are quite secure, and our records are 285 available for public inspection under the Freedom of Information Act. Any 286 sensitive material has been removed from the public record of course. 287 Thank you for your memo. 288 289 Sam Peckinpah 290 Reality Corp div of Tandy Corp. 291 _________________________________________________________________________ 292 293 !@@#@$$%#%$^%&*^&(&**%^&^%$#%^%&^&*^&(&*)&*(^&*%^&#^!%#$%#$%#$^$%^$%^# 294 The book in question is the "Adolesence of P1". Required reading for 295 computer scientists and others interested in the subject. The copy I 296 read had been passed around amoung a large group of current and former 297 PSU students, and is complete with dog-eared edges and all. 298 %$^%$#^$%^$%^$%^$% L'Homme sans parity @$#%$%%#$%^$%^$%#$%#$%#$%%#$%%% 299 300 '`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'` 301 302 Hehehehehe! I see my pretties have made it to the wizard's lair. My plans 303 are going perfectly! hehehehehehe (cackle) I have vowed revenge on 304 Dorothy and her gang and any who she might call a friend ever since she 305 took out 2 of my sisters! hehhehehehehehe (cackle) My other dippy sister 306 doesn't care about anything except her skin and her modeling contract 307 with that agency in NY city. But I will get them, and dorothy, and anyone 308 else who dares enter OZ without my permission! hehehehehehehe (cackle) 309 I must be careful though, because like it or not, the wizard is powerful, 310 and he can cause me great pain. BUT BEWARE!!! HERE COMES DEEP DO-DO!!! 311 hehehehehehehehehe (cackle) heheheheheheheheheh (cackle) etc etc etc... 312 313 '`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'` 314 315 S:HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY? 316 M:SAME AS YOU WON'T BE TOMORROW!! 317 -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= 318 @#$!#@$%$%&^$&%*$)*&$&@!^$#*!!%$#$^%^*@! 319 320 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 321 From: Orc Fieldmarshal 4 322 To: Orc HQ 323 Re: Human Invasion, Sector 14B 324 325 All hail: 326 327 At 1415 a large invasion party of heavily armed humans attacked our recon 328 party in Sector 14B. Descriptions of leaders are as follows: 329 #1. Big floppy ears, idiotic grin, bears a strong resemblence to 330 Alfred E. Neuman 331 #2. Tall man in khaki; brown hair, BIG gun 332 Subjects lead a party of at least 50-100 of those vile, smelly humans that 333 attacked our peaceful recon party without warning or provocation. 334 Casualties to our forces were a mere 17 Orcs. Reinforcements arrived in the 335 nick of time to repulse the invaders. Casualties inflicted by our heroic 336 forces to the humans were heavy. No body count available. 337 338 Request further reinforcements to launch an all out attack against humans. 339 We will take no prisoners. 340 Respectfully, 341 Gnartic the Putrid 342 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 343 !()?()!()!??()!)()? 344 #Wizard! What are ORCS doing roaming the streets of the Emerald City?# 345 The Mysterious Voice 346 !()?()!()?()!()? 347 ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: 348 Bard: mea culpa mea culpa... 349 MIG: The info on C-41 is in another room, where my father is sleeping. 350 As it is 01:36, I won't have access to it until manana. 351 Rumor has it that you have 5 aliases currently. How prolific! 352 I have enough trouble with 1! 353 :::::::::::::::::::::O O::::::::voyeur::::::::O O::::::::::::::::::::: 354 _(#%^_%(^_(%^_%^_(#*%^_#^%_(#%_(#*%^_@#%^_@%^_(%^_#(%^#_% 355 Mysterious Voice: 356 They were in another adventure and one apparently sneezed while trying 357 to say "XYZZY" and you know the rest. 358 fdud, fdntf 359 _@$^#($^_@^*^)&)#$)@$^)@$&@$#^%!)@%)%_@$%_@_%$@#%^@(^$)@&^)@ 360 :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: 361 "and what may I do for you little timmy??" said mr.wizard in a voice that made them wonder to what sex the 362 wizard was... 363 canting his head to one side he looked deep in thought and muttered "orcs,in my city hummm" after which he was seen 364 preping for a major spellcasting saying magical words like "DDT" and "EDB" 365 :::::::::::::WIZARD::::::::::::: 366 367 ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? 368 Voyeur,you could have at least hinted at what C-41 was,you make me think you have to actualy LOOK UP the info... 369 you have also overlooked 2 key factors; 370 a:when this and other messages from you appear on the backwater. 371 b:when certon people access the bit bucket where I just put up the message about 5 identitys today(tonight) 372 c:the bit bucket has user files,I believe if you type l,your user number say...293 as an offhand guess it would tell you when 373 you were last on. 374 perhaps I have met you before? perhaps again on saturday? 375 376 377 Sans Parity:(de de du da)*2 zonette??? 378 379 Jonithan Chance,Cap'n Crazy,commander Lacells:hope you all had fun at Robbies watching vids while I slaved over my new operatin 380 system. 381 382 Bard:what say next week we kill Jonithan Chance once and for all,perhaps the apprentice will come allong too?? 383 384 385 Deborah,d,anybody:I await a subject folks... 386 387 A somewhat giddie from lack of sleep... 388 Man in Gray 389 390 ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? 391 -------------------------------- 392 Hay you,out there in the cold,getting lonely getting old,can you feel me? 393 Hay you standing in the ailes with itchy feet and aching smiles,can you feel me? 394 Hay you,don't help them to bury the light!!! 395 Dont give in,without a fight. 396 (musical interlude) 397 But it was only fantasy,the wall was too high,as you can see. 398 No matter how he tried,he could not break free,and the Worms ate into his brain... 399 400 wall lp 401 side 1 albium 2 trac 1 402 -------------FLOYD-------------- 403 404 ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp 405 The piper watched the action with disbelief. Vast tides of power shifted 406 and pulled at the present reality. Another blending took place, it seemed that 407 middle earth was grafted into the sewers of Oz. (It also seems that the 408 person doing the grafting was color-blind! While the graft was being done, 409 the distinction between blue and green disappeared.) As the color non-red 410 faded into blues and greens, the piper sensed that a powerful conflict was in 411 the making. Thinking to warn the peacful inhabitants of the city, he stepped 412 out the door and nearly into the jaws of an immense tiger with a pink ribbon 413 tied in a bow on its tail. Stopping short, the piper decided to be VERY polite 414 indeed. The tiger yawned and stretched -- those teeth must be five inches 415 long! -- then asked in a rather bored voice, "Where are you going little man?" 416 and continued, "You wouldn't happen to have any fat babies with your party 417 would you? I'm getting hungry again and havent eaten a fat baby for a long, 418 long time." The piper breathed a sigh of relief. 419 "You must be the Hungry Tiger. Quick! We must let everyone know that 420 trouble is brewing. Someone has grafted the reality of middle-earth onto the 421 sewers of Oz. Not only does there seem to be a party of Orcs approaching, I'm 422 sure we'll see trolls, wolves, and other creatures trying to get in. 423 The tiger yawned again and said "Don't worry, little man. We have coped 424 with worse situations in the last 80 years. This is the kind of place that 425 someone is always tring to but in on. Now you just get back to your own 426 adventure and we'll keep it off our streets. 427 The piper somehow found himself turned around and propelled gentluy through 428 the door by a velvet paw against his back. As the door shut, he heard a VERY 429 deep voice saying, "I know, but it's not FAIR to let a wicked witch in who 430 only saw the movie. She would not know enough to be worth worryi.." THUNK 431 pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp 432 IS THERE ANYBODY IN THERE? 433 JUST NOD IF YOU CAN HEAR ME... 434 435 Nod 436 YOU GUY'S ARE ALL NUTS! SIGNED: THE MANAGEME 437 ................................................................................ 438 Mr. Peckinpah: I suggest you check out the aliens more carefully! Those blue 439 lobsters were trying to conquer your world by using the "side-effects" of the 440 pills! 441 I *can* supply documentation, if neccesary! 442 ................................ 443 The apprentice pulled a crystal ball (actually, more of a marble) 444 from his pouch. He looked into it and spoke, "I'd like to place a mage to witch 445 call to Glinda the Good..." 446 "Greetings, Your Wisdom, I am honored that you have accepted this 447 contact", without moving a muscle the apprentice gave the impression of having 448 made a deep and courtly bow. "While I realize that your people can handle the 449 orcs quite well, I feel that we owe you some aid. They are almost certainly 450 here because of us." 451 "I know of some people who can remove these creatures with a minimum of 452 disturbance. In any case, I must notify my liege of this intrusion, no matter 453 what your decision." 454 "I will await your decision. Ciao." 455 He made a gesture and the sense of another's presence faded. He replaced 456 the ball and took out a ring which he placed on his third finger. 457 #Pentagram HQ. Please state your business# 458 #I am Eric of the House of Camber. I must speak to Lord Sam the Grey. 459 I have news of an orcish invasion.# 460 #Immediately, sir!# 461 #What is this about an invasion, lad? This had better be important!# 462 #Look into my mind, milord...............# 463 #I see, we'll be there SOON!# 464 #But, lord, what of..# 465 #I *SAID* we ARE COMING! I know little of this "Oz" place, but if 466 there are orcs, then we are going to get them - do you understand APPRENTICE?# 467 #yes, your lordship# 468 469 "I was afraid of that.... Wizard, your pardon, but my liege is determined 470 to come. It was my duty to inform him, but I fear the consequences". The 471 apprentice seem very small as he stood waiting. 472 While everyone was trying to decide how to handle this new devolopment, 473 a figure seemed to materialize out of the air in front of Wassir and Salazar. 474 They reached for their weapons, only to discover that the figure had them in his 475 hands! "You two looked like the most trigger happy, so I relieved you of these 476 toys. You couldn't of done any real damage, but I didn't want to waste half an 477 hour healing up." 478 "Allow me to introduce my self, the name is Sam. Some of my Pentagram 479 colleagues are returning the orcs n' tunnels to OUR world. We can take care of 480 them there." Turning to the apprentice, he said, "Now look, I thought I told you 481 to try and stay out of trouble! You're almost as bad as your father. Try not to 482 end up like he did, OK?" 483 Tossing the weapons back to their owners, he started to fade out again, "Mouse 484 is gonna love this, fresh orcs....." 485 ............................................the apprentice...................... 486 ps to Mr Peckinpah: the pills are not patentable, because they were desribed in 487 open literature more than 10 years before the application was filed! Check with 488 your legal section! 489 ................................................................................ 490 RYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRY 491 NETWORK 492 NET central 493 494 McKane Enterprises 495 c/o M d'Autun 496 497 You are cordially invited to send a representative to the PORSFIS meeting 498 this Saturday. Main branch, Multnomah county library, 2 PM. 499 You will be contacted there. 500 | | || || | | || | | || || | | | || || | | || | | | || | || || | | | 501 RYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRY 502 Wassir: We suggest that you have a representative there also! 503 RYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRY 504 What! Someone implies that I don't have the real gem! Let's see here. 505 Reaching into my trans-reality box I whip out the gem I have. 506 Glowing a drak green, the gem speaks,"I await you command, oh fool!" 507 "Then...you are the real gem?" 508 "All but a sliver." 509 "But....what are your powers?" 510 "My powers are beyond your imagination, oh mortal!" 511 "Then shrink lacells ship into the palm of my hand." 512 Holding my hand palm up, I notice a miniture ship has materialized. 513 Just what I need! Opening up my trans-reality box, I chuck it into one of 514 the realities that the box services. This gem scares me. Plop! I chuck the 515 gem into still another reality and lock the box to my mental waves. 516 "Well then, off to see the wizard," I whisper to myself as I hop 517 into the tunnels under the city. -The Ninja- 518 WELL GUYS, I SEE YOU HAVE MADE AN ATTEMPT TO CLEAN UP THIS 519 JOKE A LITTLE BIT. LETS HAVE SOME MORE GOOD 520 MESSAGES ON HERE AND MAYBE I COULD SEE IT IN 521 MY BETTER JUDGMENT TO CALL HERE MORE OFTEN 522 . THE NEXT TIME YOU START CRYING ABOUT NOT GETTING ANY CALLERS, 523 REMEMBER WHAT YOUR TRYING TO GET THEM TO READ-----GARBAGE. 524 525 KEEP IT CLEAN, 526 555 527 528 ________________________________________________________________________________ 529 Memo to all Reality Pill Corp div of Tandy Corp distributers... 530 531 Regrettably I must inform you all the Reality Corp will cease to exist 532 as a corporate entity as of the 1, April, 1984. Our legal section, under the 533 guidance of one known as 'the apprentice' has discovered the aliens who were 534 to be our sole suppliers of the reality pill, for which your corporation was 535 formed to distribute, were merely a small outlaw faction with no real power 536 in the courts or government of the alien's ruling class. 537 538 This turn of events is rather difficult to swallow, but, as employees 539 of Tandy corp, you will not be left out in the cold by the blunders of our 540 marketing dept. Applications are being sent for re-assignment, please have 541 them filled out and turned in by 9:00 AM, March 30th, Two Tandy Towers 542 Fort Worth Texas, USE, Earth. 543 544 Please put your minds at rest, and be re-assured that those in 545 marketing who are responsible for the fiasco will suffer the same fate as 546 those who had Tandy invest so heavily in CB radios, they will be forced to 547 become floor managers at local Toys-R-Us outlets. 548 549 Thank you and again please accept my apologies... 550 551 Sam Peckinpah 552 (form) Reality Corp div of Tandy Corp 553 554 _______________________________________________________________________________ 555 556 Aside to 'the apprentice' : The board of directors, and myself, CEO of 557 Reality corp, wish to give you our sincere thanks for pointing out the 558 aliens scam. Although we did lose some money on the deal, it is a pittance 559 compared to what would have been lost if trans-glaxian shipping routes etc, 560 would have been set up... 561 Regards... 562 Sam Packinpah 563 etc. etc. 564 565 _______________________________________________________________________________ 566 567 gdfg 568 g 569 570 #@!#@!$#@%^^%*&^)*()^*%^*#@$@#%^&*&^()&*(*&^%^#%!@#$#$%$#$%^&&^*&(*)(&*^&%^ 571 MIG...another person recognizes the call of chris serling? (de de do da)^2 572 Yupp...its definitly another zonette! 573 !@!@@#@$#$#*%$*)($*^ L'homme sans parity %$#^*($%)^%)^%^%$^%^%^%^%^%$^%^%$^ 574 PS M. D'Autun --- Have you visted Paris recently? It is really quite beautiful 575 this time of year, n'ect-ce pas? 576 577 578 C-41 IS A 4 STEP PROCES THAT RUNS 579 AT 100F +- .23DIGRES IT TAKES 25 MIN 580 AND 15 SEC TEMP IS VERY IMPORTANT 581 SO BE CAIRE FULL E-6 TAKES ABOUT 582 60 MIN AND HAS THE SAME TEMP 583 REQUIRMENTS 584 585 PROF. PENTAX 586 ZANEY ZELOTE 500 587 MIKE,HOPE I CAN GET IN TOUCH WITH YOU 588 TOMORROW WHY DONT YOU DO YOU RAIN DANCE 589 590 591 592 593 594 595 596 597 598 599 600 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 601 602 HELP!,THE OWLBEARS ARE ATTACKING! 603 DARN DOGGY DOO-DOOS WHERES 604 MY LARTHORIAN? 605 606 GRIFFONHAS JUST GOTTEN A FRONTAL 607 LOBIGER'S BRAINS ARE ALL OVER 608 AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGH!GUUWHO'S BIGGER? 609 MR.BIGGER OR MISTER BIGGER'S BABY? 610 611 612 WELL ITS THE BABY BECAUSE HE IS 613 A LITTLE BIGGER!!!!!!!!!END MESSAGE, 614 FROM JAMES BOLIVAR DIGRIZ 615 TROY 616 I WILL CALL YOU AT 8:00 AM 617 TOMOROW 618 MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM,MMMMMMMMMIKE 619 PLEASE MAKE YOUR MESSAGES MORE 620 INTERESTING ,THERE IS A MESSAGE FOR YOU 621 ON CBBS PLEASE GRANT ME THIS BOON 622 MY CAT DIED OF BOREDOM 623 ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? 624 my GOD!!,somebody else reads pulp science fiction...SS rat,beware 625 626 All:see you saturday! 627 Prof.Pentax:close,C-41 takes 24.5 minuts,how many times must I ask... 628 629 use spellguard!! last line folks,Man in Gray signing off,Ninja,will get to you later ?????????????????/???????????????????????? >