,...
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                $$$$T""P$$$ba,  ,gd&P""T&bg.   ,gd&P""T&bg.              
 ggggggggggg    $$$$    $$$$$b d$$$$    $$$$b d$$$$   $$$$$b   ggggggggggg
 """""""""""    $$$$    $$$$$$ $$$$$    $$$$$ $$$$$bxxP&$$&P   """""""""""
                $$$$    $$$$$$ T$$$$    $$$$P T$$$$                      
 $$$"""""" "    """"    $$$$$$  "T&$bxxd$&P"   "T&$bxx$$$$$'   " """"""$$$
 """                    """"""                                         """
 ggg                   "Your Call Is Important To Us"                  ggg
 $$$                          by -> The Prophet                        $$$
 $$$                                                                   $$$
 $$$        [ HOE E-Zine #975 -- 12/18/99 -- http://www.hoe.nu ]     .,$$$
 `"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""'

	Thank you for calling Big Anonymous Company.  Your call is
 important to us.  We will answer your call in the order in which it was
 received.  Please continue to hold for the next available Customer Care
 Associate.

	[click, click, click, click, long period of silence followed by
 inane christmas music]

	Due to high call volume, your approximate wait time will be
 approximately ... thirty ... eight ... minutes.

	[inane christmas music]

	We value your call and truly appreciate your business.  Thank you
 for waiting while our Customer Care Associates are helping others.  Your
 call will be answered in the order received.

	[more inane christmas music]

	You can handle many transactions with our company by using our
 website.  Just go to AYCH TEE TEE PEE, COLON, SLASH SLASH, DOUBLE-YEW
 DOUBLE-YEW DOUBLE-YEW PERIOD BigAnonymousCompany PERIOD com!

	[more inane christmas music]

	With Priority Call Answering, your calls will be handled in a
 priority queue.  Priority Call Answering is just $4.95 per month.  Please
 ask your Customer Care Associate for details.

	[more inane christmas music]

	Our Customer Service Center of Excellence is ISO9002 certified and
 our Customer Care Associates are highly trained and empowered to ensure
 your total satisfaction.  Please continue to hold, and the next available
 Customer Care Associate will assist you.

	[38 minutes later]

	Please wait while we transfer your call.  You may hear a series of
 clicks while we transfer your call.  Please remain on the line while we
 transfer you to the next Customer Care Associate.

	*click* *click* *click* *clunk* *clunk* [long pause]

	*busy* *busy* *busy* *busy*

	[sound of phone shattering as it is thrown angrily on the floor]

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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!        HOE #975, BY THE PROPHET - 12/18/99 ]