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                            >> "WE'RE ALL FUCKED!" <<
                                   by -> Mack

 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

        Hi, these are from my friend Mack.  I know it's poetry, but it's
 funny.  He actually read these outloud in (mock)seriousness at a poetry
 reading at my school (BTW, they're best if you read them with a Southern
 Accent in mind).

                                       -- PezMonkey (Official h0e Translator)

 ----------

 "FUCKED"

 F is for Fern who found her a book
 She opened the pages to take her a look
 But all of these pages were covered with lye
 SHE DIED

 U is for Uma who dined at your Denny's
 She ordered all she could for a fist full of pennies
 What she got was a sewer rat, whole and deep fried
 SHE DIED

 C is for Clarence whose mama was fat
 She crushed something dead every time that she sat
 So under an ass that was near 6 ft wide
 HE DIED

 K is for Kevin who liked his sex kinky
 A whip and a chain made him all hot and stinky
 So alone in a bed, all bound, gagged and tied
 HE DIED

 E is for Eunice who bungee jumped down
 Off of a tower in the middle of town
 but the cord snapped, and oh how she flied
 SHE DIED

 D is for DuWayne who stewed in ennui
 So he strung up a noose and climbed a tall tree
 He jumped off the limb, and the rope didn't give...
 BUT HE LIVED!

 WE'RE ALL FUCKED!

 ----------

 "Chicken Soup For the Soul Reaped by Leviathan:
 A Collaboration with Myself"

        There once was a girl named Esmerelda who lived in the forest, but
 that's not my story...
        I was licking the warm autumn rain off his neck when I realized I
 couldn't love,
        My lips went numb and I stared at his hoop earring like it was in
 midconversation
        It was all I could do to keep from bludgeoning myself with a blunt
 object
        Love?  An irritant?  Like a giant crab knawing at the crotch of my
 soul?
        WHY!?
        Did I kick one too many puppies?  Drown too many kittens?
        I didn't even remember that my father molested me when I was five
 until my therapist told me it was true.
        So THAT can't be it...
        (Did you ever notice that the word RAPIST is in the word THERAPIST?
 *THE* *RAPIST*...)
        A drop of water fell from his earring and meshed with his black
 t-shirt.
        I laughed and felt my own cold breath splash against my face before
 I kissed his neck again.

 ~FUCK IT~

 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
       * (c) HoE publications.  HoE #223 -- written by Mack -- 4/3/98 *