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Dear brethren, it gives me great pleasure to announce that the talk.euthanasia
news group is a big success.  There has been much discussion of euthanasia,
most of it very serious, and we have made many new friends, including today's
featured guest, the quick-witted and eloquent Randy Turney
(rturney@fd.dsccc.com).  Randy gets off to great start by flaming some
pro-abortion idiot who has the nerve to suggest that "in an overpopulated world
it makes much more sense than bringing another unwanted child into the world."
Randy really lets him have it!

>>>>
I take it you make this statement from a "there is [sic] too many people in
world so let's ask some to step off" point of view.  Well, speak for yourself.
The child my wife and [I] are expecting IS wanted and so will it's [sic]
siblings to follow.
<<<<

Bravo, Randy, you tell him, and congratulations on that bun in the oven.  The
more the merrier I always say!  Randy continues:

>>>>
I have respect for those who support euthanasia from the point of view of some
[sic] seeking to be euthanized, but not for those who support euthanasia from
the point of view of reducing the burden on society and survivors.
<<<<

Well that sounds fair enough, but now look what happens!  Some crazy bitch 
from the so-called "Church of Euthanasia" starts foaming at the mouth:

>>>>
Randy, the human population is increasing by one million every four days.
That's ninety-five million people per year (the current population of Mexico).
Under the circumstances, I have respect for the people who aren't breeding, and
you're not one of them.  Your wife is expecting, and what's done is done.  I've
never refused anyone entry into my Church because of children they already
have, nor will I, but bragging about how many more you're going to have is
really going too damn far.  We are losing a species every sixty minutes, and an
acre of trees every eight seconds in the U.S. alone, and it just doesn't mean
a thing to you.  Geophilus (spokesperson for the Gaia Liberation Front) once
said that while humans evolved on the Earth, they are no longer of the Earth,
and I swear you are the living proof.  Keep stuffing yourself full of dead
animals, Randy, and remember:  the world is your ashtray.
<<<<

Ouch!  What's her problem?  A little PMS maybe?  Well, don't fret, because
Randy's motto is "courage is a man who keeps on coming on." (Captain McNelly,
Texas Rangers).  Yes sir, Randy's as tough as they come, and he bounces right
back with one of the most impressive statements we've ever seen:

>>>>
Do you understand what rights are?  Rights are possessed only by members of
our society - not by plants, trees, animals, the Earth, or other inanimate
objects.
<<<<

Thank you so much, Randy, for pointing this out.  Plants, trees, animals, and
the Earth have no rights whatsoever.  If you've seen one plant, you've seen
them all;  they belong in salads.  Trees cause pollution;  President Reagan
said so on television, so it must be true.  Animals are for barbecuing and
testing cosmetics on.  The Earth is a giant cigar, and it is our sacred duty to
smoke it, until there is nothing left but smoke, and ashes.  Unfortunately the
Earth is a big planet, and there are still a lot of plants, trees and animals
left on it, despite what those environmentalist cranks say.  This is why we
must increase our population, by procreating as often as possible.  I know
you're doing your share, Randy, and that's why you're my hero.  Keep shooting
them out, big guy, because that's what you're here for!

Meanwhile some other joker butts in with a rhetorical question:

"Do property owners have 'rights' to do whatever so amuses them with their
piece of the Earth?"

Randy ponders this one for a while, and lays down the law:

"I'm a strong believer in property rights, but I would say 'no they don't.'"

Oh, Randy, say it ain't so!  What kind of un-American commie crap is that?  Of
course they do!  You just said yourself that the Earth doesn't have rights,
anymore than slaves or women had rights a few hundred years ago, when things
were simple and men had courage and kept on coming on!  Those were the days,
weren't they, Randy, those pioneer days, when America stretched out for
thousands of miles, untouched, a ripe virgin, ready to be raped and beaten and
bound and sold for auction.  Nobody to stand in your way but a few ignorant
savages, and they certainly didn't have rights, did they, they were only
animals, or maybe plants, I forget, but who cares, they're all dead now anyway,
chopped down like trees in the name of God.  If you own a piece of Earth, then
by God you have every right to kill anyone who walks on it, the same as you
would kill anyone who touched your woman.  Hell, that's what the Second
Amendment is all about:  making sure that decent God-fearing Americans like you
can arm themselves to the teeth to protect their land and animals and slaves
and women from commie heathens.

No, you've got to stick up for your rights, Randy, because if you don't, some
liberal do-gooder is going to come around and take them away from you!  It's
every man for himself here!  What's yours is yours, and the one who dies with
the most toys wins!  Peace through Strength, as some famous German guy said!
Euthanasia is for pussies!  Anyone who doesn't want to live is a pussy, and
there's no room for pussies in America!

"Sell a country!  Why not sell the air, the clouds and the great sea, as well
as the earth?"

-some pussy named Tecumseh

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rev. Chris Korda           The Church of Euthanasia           coe@netcom.com

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