From: rww@demon.siemens.com (Richard W West) Subject: Re: Mommy, Mommy! Summary: Here's what I got.. any others? Keywords: Mommy, Mommy! In article <1407@elle.nsc.com> frazer@dtg.nsc.com writes: >Has anyone compiled all of these M-M jokes into one file? If so, >could you send it to me? > This is all that I have. It appears that some people have a great distaste for these jokes, but, considering that they are new to me, I think they're kind of funny. Yes, I do know that these jokes are quite old.. but I'm not. The Semi-Complete Canatonical List of Mommy, Mommy! Jokes --------------------------------------------------------- son: Mommy, Mommy! I don't like Sis! mom: Shut up, and keep eating! son: Mommy, Mommy, I don't like running in circles! mom: Shutup, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor. son: Mommy, Mommy! Why is daddy running away? mom: Shut up, and help me reload the shotgun! son: Mommy, Mommy, I don't want to go to England. mom: Shut up and keep swimming. son: Mommy, Mommy, I don't want to see daddy again. mom: Shut up and keep digging. son: Mommy, Mommy, I want to play with Grandpa now! mom: Keep quiet, the coffin stays closed today! son: Mommy, Mommy, I'd like to play marbles now! mom: Keep quiet, you can't use Grandpa's glasseye today! son: Mommy, Mommy, I don't like the crunchy stuff in my pea soup! mom: Keep quiet and eat what is on the table or do you think I pour Grandpa's vomit through a sieve? son: Mommy, Mommy, I wanted to lick the bowl this time. mom: Shaddup and flush. son: Mommy, Mommy, I don't know how to play poker. mom: Shaddup and deal. son: Mommy, Mommy, can I wear a bra now? I'm 16.. mom: Shut up Albert.... son: Mommy, Mommy! I don't like this spaghetti! mom: Shutup or I'll rip the veins outta yer other arm!!! son: Mummy, Mummy, Sally won't come skipping with me. mom: Don't be cruel dear, you know it makes her stumps bleed. son: Mummy, Mummy, what's for dinner? mom: Shut up and get back in the oven. son: Mommy, Mommy, why do other kids tell me I have a big head? mom: Don't worry. Take your cap and go get me 40 lbs of potatoes at the store. son: Mommy, Mommy, why do other kids tell me I have a long nose? mom: You don't, but lift your head up or you'll scrape the floor. son: Mommy, Mommy, what's a vampire? mom: Shut up, kid, and drink your soup before it clots! son: Mommy, Mommy, what's a werewolf? mom: Shut up, kid, and go comb your face son: Mommy, mommy, are you sure this is how to learn to swim? mom: Shut up and get back in the sack! son: Mommy, Mommy, Why has daddy got his Knob in the bread bin? mom: Ignore him son, He's fucking crackers! son: Mommy, Mommy! How come sis gets to watch TV and I can't? mom: Shutup or I'll cut your ears off too! son: Mommy, mommy, I don't want any more hamburger! mom: Shut up and stick your arms back into the meat grinder. son: Mummy, Mummy, I don't like grandma. mom: Well leave her on the side of your plate then. son: Mommy, Mommy, Auntie threw up and Sis is getting all of the BIG pieces! son: Mommy, Mommy, don't push to the elevator shAAAAAAAFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTT! son: Mommy, Mommy, are you sure this is the right way to cook Beijing Duck?" mom: Shuddup and close the microvawe oven door behind you! son: Mommy, mommy, what's a nymphomaniac? mom: Shut up kid and help me get granny off the doorknob. son: Mummy, mummy, what's an orgasm? mom: I don't know dear, ask your father. daughter: Daddy daddy what is queer? dad: Shuddap and unhook my bra. daughter: Mommy, Mommy! Why don't I have a big thing like Daddy's between my legs? mom: You will when you're older, dear! Now, I know that this cannot be all of them, considering how some have grumped about the age of these jokes. So, if anyone can think of any others, please post them! -- -Rich West Internet: rww@demon.siemens.com Siemens Corporate Research and Development Laboratories in Princeton, NJ Disclaimer: These opinions are mine. They may be yours; they may be the company's. Then again, maybe not.