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From: falces@umvlsi.ecs.umass.edu (Laurel Falces)
Subject: Pete Rose
Keywords: topical, chuckle
Date: 6 Jul 89 07:20:06 GMT


(From David Letterman's show of Tuesday 6-27-89, and transcribed from the
USA Today issue of 6-28-89...)

TOP TEN REASONS NOT TO SUSPEND PETE ROSE FROM BASEBALL

10. Really young gamblers need a role model.

9.  Ten million Pete Rose wigs already shipped to Hall of Fame gift shop.

8.  If suspended, might reveal identity of San Diego Chicken.

7.  He kept his promise to kid in hospital: "I'm putting 50 bucks on
today's game for you, son."

6.  Might go play baseball in Japan and develop comercially viable
superconductor during the offseason, which would increase Japan's
ever-widening economic supremacy over the United States.

5. He bet five grand they would suspend him and will make 50 grand at
10-to-1 odds.

4.  No casino greeter jobs currently open.

3.  Baseball needs professional wrestling pizzazz of being fixed.

2.  How can you suspend Off Track Betting's "Man of the Year"?

1.  Betting slips, fingerprints, handwriting, telephone records, sworn
depositions -- Come on!  Let's have some REAL proof!
--
John Franjione

--
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