Flags: 000000000000
Path: molokai!milano!cs.utexas.edu!inebriae!looking!funny-request
From: tsang@cory.Berkeley.EDU (Donald Tsang)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Subject: The Eighteen Bottles
Keywords: chuckle
Message-ID: <3403@looking.on.ca>
Date: 30 May 89 10:30:04 GMT
Sender: funny@looking.on.ca
Lines: 39
Approved: funny@looking.on.ca
Reply-Path: cory.Berkeley.EDU!tsang

My dad found this on a bulletin board at work many years ago.  My
sister recently found a copy hiding in some old school stuff she was
throwing out.  A good challenge is to try to read the entire piece
aloud without laughing.  Neither I nor my sister can do it.


The Eighteen Bottles

    I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in my cellar and was told by my
wife to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink, or
else...  I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task.  I
withdrew the cork from the first bottle and pured the contents down the
sink with the exception of one glass, which I drank.  I then withdrew
the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the
exception of one glass, which I drank.  I then withdrew the cork from
the thrid bottle and poured the whiskey down the sink which I drank.  I
pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured the
bottle down the glass, which I drank.  I pulled the bottle from the
cork of the next and drank one sink out of it, and threw the rest down
the glass.  I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork
down the bottle.  Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the
drink and drank the pour.  When I had everything emptied, I steadied
the house with one hand, counted the glasses, corks, bottles, and sinks
with the other, which were twent-nine, and as the houses came by I
counted them again, and finally I had all the houses in one bottle,
which I drank.  I'm not under tha affluence of incohol as some tinkle
peep I am.  I'm not half as thunk as you might drink.  I fool so
feelish I don't know who is me, and the drunker I stand here, the
longer I get.
                                      -- Author unknown
--
Donald Tsang

--
Edited by Brad Templeton.  MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to funny@looking.ON.CA
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible.  I will reply, mailers willing.

If you MUST reply to a rejection, include a description of your joke
because there is 0 chance I will remember which one it was.