Flags: 000000000201 Date: Mon, 29 May 1989 19:49:39 CDT From: Werner Uhrig To: humourous-friends@rascal.ics.utexas.edu Subject: what the backbone is chuckling about these days .... I wonder if "temporary insanity" is a valid defense for a computer; or, maybe: "a virus made me do it" ... ?!! To: Subject: Those crazy soviets... Date: Mon, 29 May 89 12:51:20 EST From: I had misplaced the paper this was in and thought I'd lost it. I just now found it and thought the following article would be of interest. I's from the 14 March 1989 issue of "Weekly World News" -- one of those supermarket tabloids. Computer Charged with Murder After Frying Chess Champ by Ragan Dunn A Soviet super-computer has been ordered to stand trial for the murder of chess champion Nikolai Gudkov -- who was electorcuted when he touched the metal board that he and the machine were playing on! "This was no accident -- it was cold-blooded murder," Soviet police investigator Alexei Shainev told reporters in Moscow. "Niko Gudkov won three straight games and the computer couldn't stand it. When the chess master reached for his knight to begin play in the fourth game, the computer sent a lethal surge of electricity to the board surface. The computer had been programmed to move its chess pieces by producing a low-level electric current. "Gudkov was electrocuted while a gallery of hundreds watched." The decision to put the computer on trial stunned legal experts around the world. [I hope computer experts are also shocked, so to speak. --spaf] But the Soviets are convinced that the computer had the pride and intelligence to develop a hatred for Gudkov -- and the motive and means to kill him. The mind-boggling murder drama unfolded during a six-day chess marathon between the M2-11 supercomputer and Gudkov, a world class chess player. According to reports, Gudkov defied all odds [Calculated by the same supercomputer, no doubt. --spaf] and beat the machine in three consecutive games. And when they prepared to begin their forth, a deadly dose of electricity flowed up into the electronic board and zapped Gudkov dead. Soviet authorities initially thought that the surge of electricity was caused by a short-circuit. But an examination of the computer revealed no problems. It was later determined that the machine diverted the flow of electricity from its brain to the chess board to ensure a victory over Gudkov. [This implies that Soviet semiconductors work at voltages of a few hundred volts, or maybe their supercomputers are tube-based? --spaf] "The computer was programmed to win at chess and when it couldn't do that legitimately, it killed its opponent," said investigator Shalnev. "It might sound ridiculous to bring a machine to trial for murder. [!!] But a machine that can solve problems and think [sic] faster than any human must be held accountable for its actions." Rudi Hagemann, the Swiss legal scholar, agreed with the Soviet cop. He said that the development of artificial intelligence has come so far in recent years that certain computers and some robots "must be considered human." It isn't clear how the Soviets will punish the computer if it is found guilty when it goes to court this spring. [Send it to a Gulag for reprogramming? --spaf] But Hagermann says the machine will probably be reprogrammed or dismantled altogether. ****** I don't think there's much to say here, except in the way of warning: next time you accuse the system of cheating at rogue, don't say it too loudly!