Flags: 000000000000
Path: molokai!milano!cs.utexas.edu!inebriae!looking!funny-request
From: tmm@apollo.UUCP
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Subject: For all you landlubbers out there
Keywords: smirk, heard it
Message-ID: <3381@looking.UUCP>
Date: 26 May 89 10:30:04 GMT
Sender: funny@looking.UUCP
Lines: 33
Approved: funny@looking.UUCP
Reply-Path: neat.ai.toronto.edu!gatech!mit-eddie!apollo!tmm

Here's one people can tell to their grandmothers:

Once upon a time there was a famous sea captain.  This captain was very 
successful at what he did; for years he guided merchant ships all over the 
world.  Never did stormy seas or pirates get the best of him.  He was 
admired by his crew and fellow captains.  

However, there was one thing different about this captain.  Every morning 
he went through a strange ritual.  He would lock himself in his captain's 
quarters and open a small safe.  In the safe was an envolope with a piece 
of paper inside.  He would stare at the paper for a minute, then lock it 
back up.  After, he would go about his daily duties.  

For years this went on, and his crew became very curious.  Was it a 
treasure map?  Was it  a letter from a long lost love?  Everyone speculated 
the contents of the strange envolope.  

One day the captain died at sea.  After laying the captain's body to rest, 
the first  mate led the entire crew into the captains quarters.  He opened 
the safe, got the envolope, opened it and...  

The first mate turned pale and showed the paper to the others.  Four words 
were on the paper, two on two lines: 

``Port Left Starboard Right'' 
--
Tom Mistretta

--
Edited by Brad Templeton.  MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to funny@looking.UUCP
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible.  I will reply, mailers willing.

Remember: PLEASE spell check and proofread your jokes.