Flags: 000000000000 From: langbein@topaz.rutgers.edu ( Fugitive) Subject: TV Evangalism: True Story Keywords: true, smirk Date: 7 Apr 89 10:30:04 GMT Organization: Gerbil Manor I feel before the joke I should mention a few things. First, I am a Christian. Second, I feel that It is wrong to ridicule Christ as a Christian. However, I feel that it is my duty to show people what kind of Charletons are out there. Through this true story you can see how a person who "Speaks with Authority" can make a joke out of a serious matter. It is OK to laugh at the antics, but please don't use this as a reason to condemn a whole religion. Feel free to mail me if you have any questions. I was watching TV one night when while flicking through the stations I came across a TV Evangelist. Now, being Christian, I decided to get a fulfilling and meaningful message which he would preach. Now, I have seen TV Evangelists before (I'll call them TVE) and some I enjoyed immensely such as Pat Robertson and Billy Graham. However, I asn't prepared for this man...... "You! Yes YOU can be blessed by the LORD GOD ALMIGHTY just by sending me a small contribution of only two thousand dollars! The LORD ... OH YES HE IS HERE The LORD... I hear him telling me... oh YES Lord that YES he wants You! Yes You! to GIVE ME Two THOUSAND Dollars to support my minestry! The LORD Will Return in one Hundred fold! Here is a True Story...." Some Woman: I turned on his show ondering how I would be able to make my house mayments. At that time he as asking for Two hundred. Then GOD told me to give because the price is going up very soon. I got the money I DON'T KNOW HOW for my payments. "Yes! ANOTHER GREEAT TESTIMONY! You know, WWWhen I first started, I was asking for 50 dollars a person. Then the LORD GOD ... Yes the LORD GOD HIMSELF! Came to ME Haleluia ! He Came to ME and said 'Don't ask for fifty anymore.' So I raised it to One Hundred. The the LORD ... the LORD asked me to not ask for One Hundred. So I asked for Two Hundred. Then He asked me to stop, and I raised it to Five Hundred, then One thousand.. NOW the Lord asked me to no longer ask for $1000. So now, as the LORD GOD has asked me Haleluiah! The LORD GOD asked me! I ask you for $2000!!! The Lord wants you to give it to me. If you do, I will send you this piece of cloth which I prayed with and has been annoited by the Holy Spirit! This Cloth is FILLED with the Holy Spirit. Pray with this cloth and you TOO can be filled with the Spirit >From this cloth! So Send NOW!" -- Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to funny@looking.UUCP Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. I will reply, mailers willing. Remember: PLEASE spell check and proofread your jokes.