Flags: 000000000001
From: rnelson@watdcsu.UUCP (Randy Nelson)
Subject: New software
Keywords: chuckle
Date: 21 Oct 88 15:30:03 GMT


		---- MEDIOCREWRITER ----
	 
	 JOES GARAGE INC.
	 500 Bituminous Ave.
	 Sleazonia, Ont. 3N7 N5S
	 
	1/2-sided, sloppy-sectored, 5 3/8 inch droopy disk. 39 cents.
	 
	 
	As you might expect from this program's name and price, it's a
	bare-bones, no-frills word processor package.  What does 'bare bones'
	mean?  For one thing, you don't get multiple screens - in fact, you get
	no screens at all.  Joe, the program's writer, claims that in about six
	months an update (19 cents) will be available that'll give the program
	video-display capabilities.  In the meantime, you'll simply have to
	remember what you key in. 
	 
	Another upgrade will enable you to type upper-case characters and
	numbers greater than seven.  But don't let these seemingly negative
	comments dissuade you from buying the program.  In reality, the 39 cent
	price makes it good value for the money.  You can for, example, use the
	disk as a coaster for large beer mugs. 
	 
	What are the program's good points?  It contains a 3-word spelling
	correction program called (predictably) MediocreSpeller.  If you
	misspell the words A, AND, or THE, it causes your computer to shut off
	and locks the disk drive head on track 42. 
	 
	MediocreWriter's documentation is in keeping with the program's other
	annoying features.  It consists of a barely legible mimeographed sheet
	with the following insruction's on it:
	 
	 * Turn computer on
	 * Insert disk
	 * Use program
	 
	The program is not copy protected.
	
	Explains Joe: 'Who would want to copy it?' And it takes little memory
	space: 323 bytes.  It's available for the Lemming/dos operating system
	for use on Joe's PC (available from Joe for $9.95). 
	 
	 
	ASST. SYSOP'S COMMENTS:
	 
	In short, MediocreWriter is Joe's latest attempt to write software that
	works.  It doesn't pretend to be anything other than what it is: the
	sleeziest, most limited, bug-ridden word-processing program that exists.
	
	Joe admits, 'it stinks.' In addition to its lack of a video-display
	capability, it has a tendency to set computers on fire and trigger
	nearby automatic washing machines.  It handles 21 lower-case alphabetic
	characters and numbers from one to six; punctuation is limited to the
	exclamation point. 
	 
	The program is interactive with Joe's other two packages: Lousycalc, a
	1-column, 1-row spreadsheet; and RottenFiler, a database-management
	program that accepts one entry.  In short, I like it! 
	 
	DETAILS: List price, 39 cents.  Available only for Lemming/DOS on Joe's
	PC ($9.95); configured to drive Joe's Smudge-Matrix Printer.
	($14.95). 
	 
	JOE'S GARAGE INC.
	500 Bitumious Ave.
	Sleazonia, Ont. 3N7 N5S
	Phone 911
	

--
 .
Remember: Spell Check your jokes, and include a one line signature at most.