Flags: 000000000001
From: wyle@solaris.UUCP (Mitchell Wyle)
Subject: Re: computer follies
Summary: ad absurdum
Date: 17 Oct 88 11:21:33 GMT
Organization: SOT Sun Cluster, ETH Zuerich

In article <1417@zen.UUCP> frank@zen.co.uk (Frank Wales) writes:
>In article <4041@tekgvs.GVS.TEK.COM> toma@tekgvs.GVS.TEK.COM (Tom Almy) writes:
[...stuff deleted...]

Using the Boyer-Moore theorem prover on our network of 12 Crays, I was
seconds away from finishing a statistical text analysis algorithm which
derives the true conceptual meaning of all Indo-European languages and
dialects, effectively solving all performance problems in information
retrieval systems.  The forces invading from the Zuerich international
airport chose that moment to cut all power to the University, and
mortar shells were falling outside our building seconds later.

Luckily, our solar-powered, diesel-backed, quantum-predicting energized
deflecto-modulators kicked in femtoseconds BEFORE the power-failure
(elements of the system move faster than light), saving all 17
Terabytes of Cray Core and all 831 Terrabytes of index files my program
was using.  With projectiles exploding and whistling ever closer, I
decided on the final corrections through my brain-implant interface and
ran for the bomb shelters, knowing that the DWIN (Do-What-I-Need)
User-interface would finish cross-compiling my system for all processor
architectures from 4-bit Casio-watches and  HP hand-helds up through
Connection Machines CM-2s.

The autonomous tanks started using their armor-piercing rounds on the upper
floors of the computing center but...
-- 
-Mitchell F. Wyle            wyle@ethz.uucp
Institut fuer Informatik     wyle%ifi.ethz.ch@relay.cs.net
ETH Zentrum                  
8092 Zuerich, Switzerland    +41 1 256-5237