The following are the "Rare Gems (sm)" selections for January 3 to 9, 1993. "Rare Gems" is a service mark (sm) of Rare Breed Noninc. and David Alan Wright. Compilation copyright 1992 by same. All Wright's rights reserved. These collections may be distributed freely as long as this notice is retained. Freshens between scoops. --:Dave === Treat women like thoroughbreds and they'll never be nags. --Unknown When I was very small, Grandma and I used to bake cookie. Or so we'd try, till Cookie bounded out of the kitchen in a shriek, vowing to get even. --Pam Fremon When the gods wish to punish us they answer our prayers. --Oscar Wilde I can think of many works of art in many fields -- musical, visual, literary, architectural, gastronomic, theatrical and so forth -- but none which would be the more satisfying for never ending. --Neil Gaiman on continuing series Sometimes the only way to get pertinent information is to ask impertinent questions. --J. Michael Straczynski A hundred years ago Hester Prynne of _The Scarlet Letter_ was given an A for adultery. Today she would rate no better than a C-plus. --Peter De Vries A man may build himself a throne of bayonets, but he cannot sit on it. --William R. Inge === The following are the "Rare Gems (sm)" selections for January 10 to 16, 1993. "Rare Gems" is a service mark (sm) of Rare Breed Noninc. and David Alan Wright. Compilation copyright 1992 by same. All Wright's rights reserved. These collections may be distributed freely as long as this notice is retained. Original unscented. --:Dave === Now here's a OOPS, well, that was going to be a swan... And this one's a OOPS, well, that was going to be a giraffe... --Edward Scissorhands doing balloon animals, "Mother Goose and Grimm" strip by Mike Peters One of the most valuable things I did learn while in college was that practice does not make perfect. Practice makes -permanent-. If I practice inking techniques and application wrong, I'll get it permanently wrong. --Brian Douglas Ahern Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be. --Mark Twain Fear not that thy life shall come to an end but rather fear that it shall never have a beginning. --Cardinal Newman Her voice was like civil war in a bat colony. --Unknown I shall make electricity so cheap that only the rich can afford to burn candles. --Thomas Edison A mistake is proof that someone tried anyhow. --Unknown === The following are the "Rare Gems (sm)" selections for January 17 to 23, 1993. "Rare Gems" is a service mark (sm) of Rare Breed Noninc. and David Alan Wright. Compilation copyright 1992 by same. All Wright's rights reserved. These collections may be distributed freely as long as this notice is retained. Not to be used in conjunction with any Extra Value Meal or other offer. --:Dave === There is only one success -- to be able to spend you life in your own way. --Christopher Morley How many dogs does it take to replace a light bulb? One... If you screw him in real tight! --Garfield, "Garfield" strip by Jim Davis Help you out? Certainly. Which way did you come in? --Unknown ...Everything I want to be at his age: sexy, rich -- and alive. --Florence Henderson introducing George Burns I'd like to return this "pizza to go with everything". It doesn't go with my living room drapes. --Fat Broad, "B.C." strip by Johnny Hart "Dang... My wheel keeps melting." Why the Stone Age man made it and the Ice Age man didn't... --"Mother Goose and Grimm" strip by Mike Peters I like children. Properly cooked. --W.C. Fields === The following are the "Rare Gems (sm)" selections for January 24 to 30, 1993. "Rare Gems" is a service mark (sm) of Rare Breed Noninc. and David Alan Wright. Compilation copyright 1992 by same. All Wright's rights reserved. These collections may be distributed freely as long as this notice is retained. Both children and parents love it! --:Dave === I have a speech impediment... my foot. --Unknown The smuggling of mimes: nobody talks about it. --Unknown Chemists never die -- they just stop reacting. --Unknown Tell your friend a lie. If he keeps it secret, then tell him the truth. --Portuguese proverb How could they tell? --Author Dorothy Parker when told of President Calvin Coolidge's death It's the same dream night after night... I walk out on my web, and suddenly a foot sticks -- and then another foot sticks, and another, and another, and another... --Spider to psychiatrist, "The Far Side" cartoon by Gary Larson "Who came up with the slogan 'Misery loves company', Dad?" "The guy who invented support groups." --Ants, "B.C." strip by Johnny Hart